When a separation happens, it’s logical to contact a divorce lawyer to guide you through the process. There’s a lot of advice for them to give and they can’t explain it all in one meeting, so we compiled this list.
Help us help you.
It’s better to come prepared to the initial meeting and the ones that follow. Relevant dates (marriage, birth dates etc), financial documents such as tax information, payslips, receipts, phone records, letters, and the like will help your divorce lawyer get a better picture of the situation. It is very helpful to produce a list of all of the assets and liabilities of the marriage or relationship.
Don’t do things out of spite.
Divorces are what you make of them, and contrary to common belief there is such a thing as an amicable divorce. It’s not good to be that person who throws out their partner’s things onto the pavement and blasts angry messages over Facebook. Vindictive, angry behaviour makes resolution more difficult and in some cases amounts to family violence.
Don’t listen to divorce gossip.
No matter how good your friend’s or family’s intentions are, everyone’s situation is different. Don’t ruin a potentially smooth process by comparing your situation to your sister’s/neighbour’s/anyone else’s. It’ll cause you headaches of all different kinds.
You are important, so take care of yourself.
Get a counsellor if you need to. Lean on someone you trust (just don’t listen to their divorce advice) and be with your children. Go to the gym and sweat out some frustration. There’s no ‘emotional justice’ in divorce, or control on either side. So don’t expect to ‘win’ per se, just be happy you made it through.
The process takes time.
The courts, the law, and the paperwork in your divorce moves according to its own schedule. Litigation takes even longer thanks to court dates, applications and the like. Your divorce lawyer will advise against going to court, but sometimes it can’t get helped if there’s major issues that can’t be resolved easily. Clients shouldn’t expect to walk away from the whole affair quickly. There’s assets to divide and sometimes custody to work out.
You can’t talk to your spouse’s solicitor.
If you have representation of your own, it’s not allowed. If you try and contact them they won’t speak to you. Your own divorce lawyer is on your side and is there to convey messages. You can trust them to do it.